having a total new feeling... something tt i believe is gd but at the same time bad.

i wonder,,,

it is the harder i try, the more i will mess or screw things up?

looks like i juz screw things up big time... it might nv get back to how it will be again... can onli blame myself

this yrs target

been 6 months since i last wrote in this site... now tt i think of it it seems so long.. haha. once again it shows i am a man of little words. cny juz past for like 2 wks n i have been slacking since then.. looks like i need to have a board in my rm saying "onli need to slog for 1 more yr!!!!" haha. something my grandma has been telling me ALL the time, since she is worried tt i am taking things too easy w/o any targets

speaking of targets, i wan to start saving liao, 3k in 1 yr. haha. possible? since i cut down my transport spending from 210 to 90+ think shld be able ba? but it seems i always dunno where did i spent my money, they are like juz gone like tt :( i need to start keeping track.

for the past few wks, i think there is some slight changes in me... i have become more talkative in front of others... ppl that i am close to tt is. i am able to start joking n not feeling "shy" at least tt is wat i think.

experience something during the recess wk, had dinner with a xb's family in the chalet, the atmosphere was something i nv get to experience, not like things are hostile at home, but its always me n my grandma, dun think there was even once where i ate with my parents... since i was brought up by my grandma for as long as i can rmb... so it actually set me thinking if that was the feeling one will have... but still i am very happy with my current life of meals with grandma... juz tt tt little piece is something tt is missing in my 24yrs up-to-date life...